Natural Affection

What does it mean to have natural affection? Many times, to understand the meaning of a word or phrase, we look at its opposite. The opposite of natural affection is without natural affection — unnatural.

Affection is a fondness, warmth, gentle feeling or physical expression of love.

Perilous Times

The Bible tells us that in the last days, perilous times will come. There are things we notice in the unraveling of our families, communities and society that prove we are in the last days. One such thing is that people will be without natural affection. In these days, people have an unnatural way of showing love. Words and deeds don’t match. What should be gentle is brutal. What should be hot is cold.


Something that is natural exists in nature without being made or caused by humans. It is what it is — on its own. Some regard it as being innate. Natural affection is something that is God-given. Something that is unnatural goes against nature, thus it goes against the order of God.

  • It’s natural for a mother to desire to nurture her child.
  • It’s natural for a man to be protective of his family.
  • It’s natural for friends to want to help another friend in need.
  • It’s natural for a family member to want to see other family members do their best.
  • It’s natural to have empathy for others — friends, families, neighbors and strangers.

In the Jungle

Many mothers in the animal kingdom will fight to the death to protect their young. They’ll stand against predators, whom they have a small to no chance of defeating, just to give their young the chance to live. Sadly, some of us do not give as much natural love as a beast in the field.

But when unnatural affection is addressed in 2 Timothy, it is not about beasts, but about man.

Piety, or kindness, should first be demonstrated and learned in the home. This foundation is being destroyed. If we cannot be kind in the home, how can we have natural affection towards anyone?

2 Timothy 3:1-5

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.


Many things lead to unnatural affection. Lust is at the root — unruly passions that direct hearts to appease the senses and flesh. Selfishness is connected to lust. Many people aim to satisfy self and place one’s needs and desires (lusts) over the well-being and development of others.

Other factors are lack of wisdom and pride. A prideful and selfish heart does not give natural love because it has not submitted to God and the order He established in nature. A heart that is not wise does foolish things, especially when it comes to pursuing means to fulfill lustful desires.

Quite simply, those without natural affection hurt others. Sometimes they do it blindly. Other times their eyes are wide open and they just don’t care.

Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children

What to Do?

  • The Word of God says it best: “from such turn away.” In other words, stay away from these types of people. This is for our good and protection.
  • Do a heart check and guard your heart. Be sure that you are one who lives a life of love filled with natural affection.
  • If you are a young lady, submit yourself to be taught by aged or older women on the subject of love. It is the job and calling of aged women to teach young women to love their husbands and children. To have natural affection.




Taming the “Dear Future Husband” Obsession

Ladies, can we reason together? This has been on my mind for a while. I’m trying to understand Christian ladies’ obsession with “Dear Future Husband” posts.

I’ve read, listened, watched and prayed. I fear that many of you are being taken captive by youthful lusts and do not recognize it.

Marriage between a single man and single woman is a beautiful God-honored relationship.  It’s okay to temperately desire to be married in God’s timing. But are you making “future husband” and marriage idols?

The only appropriate time to write a “Dear Future Husband” post is:

  1. To Jesus since the Church is His bride.
  2. If and only if you are presently engaged to be married. In this case your future husband is real; not a fantasy. Be careful with this also, as you do not want to stir up sexual lust.

Dear Future Husband Obsession_ModelMeGirl

Under the Influence

Yes, many Western girls have been heavily influenced by unrealistic romantic movies and childhood fairy tales. So, it’s easy to blame Hollywood concerning this obsession with future husbands. But Hollywood isn’t the major problem with this issue. Christian women and girls who are influencing and encouraging one another to write love letters to a man on a wish list are to blame for this fantasy infatuation. Vain imagination.

When we are deceived, we go and deceive others. But we don’t have to be deceived. The “Dear Future Husband” posts are not a write the vision and make it plain ordeal. This is lust wearing cheap, imitation perfume. This does not smell good and sweet in the nostrils of our Savior. It stinks.

God’s Will?

Is it God’s will for you to be married? Maybe; maybe not. God knows. It is truth God calls some people to be single, like the Apostle Paul. Who knows if this will be the same for you?

Beloved, why not be about your Father’s business as you cultivate your faith, becoming rooted and grounded in His Word and love? Why not work on your character, sharpen skills and enjoy this present season in your life? The time it takes to craft these “Dear Future Husband” posts could have been given to something much more meaningful, such as prayer, reading the Word or helping someone.

Have Temperance

God never told you, me or anyone to obsess over a mate – current or future. This obsession easily creates idols in your heart and mind. Obsession is lack of control, and God wants us to have temperance. This is self-control. Patience is closely related to self-control.

2 Timothy 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

The Word of God says to flee youthful lusts. Again, this is a mark of self-control. I say to you, these “Dear Future Husband” posts are propelling you towards youthful lusts, not away from them.

Heart Check

Why are you fixated on this? Do you believe the myth that you are incomplete without a spouse? Do you believe marriage is the ultimate dream?

“Dear Future Husband” posts are masks that poorly disguise the root of a deeper issue.

Matthew 6:21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

It appears your treasure is found in a husband. As such, this is where your heart is.  Beloved, do you not want to store up treasures in heaven?

Revelation 2:4 Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.

This obsession is revealing a lot about your heart.  Beloved, do a heart check. Be honest with yourself as you reflect on why “Dear Future Husband” means so much to you. Repent and remember your first love, Jesus Christ.

Wonderfully Single

1 Corinthians 7:34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

1 Corinthians 7:35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

In a nutshell, Paul said that in your singlehood, you’re able to give more of yourself to the needs of Christ because you do not have the family-life obligations. This is comely, or beautiful, pleasing and acceptable.

2 Timothy 4:12 Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

Many of you are proud to declare you are unashamed of your faith. This is good! But are you being an example or a stumbling block to another woman or girl in and outside the faith? Are you encouraging women and girls to spend their time thinking about a man? To write to a fantasy? Are your words and life examples of purity?

This “Dear Future Husband” obsession is a device of the enemy so that he can steal your focus and try to get you to become impatient waiting for God’s timing, if indeed marriage is in His will. You think you’re being pure in calling him “Future Husband” but all you are really doing is writing to an anonymous man.

God doesn’t need your help in sending the right man to find you. You don’t have to strategically place yourself somewhere hoping you’ll be seen. You don’t have to wear revealing clothing to grab attention. You don’t even have to ride on the “Dear Future Husband” bandwagon.

Enjoy not having certain distractions in place as you serve God! When and if God allows a man to find you, it is well. But until then, stop creating distractions for yourself with the “Dear Future Husband” obsession. Get your heart and mind fixated on Jesus Christ!

Be pure. Stay holy. Take off the blindfold and open your eyes.