Natural Affection

What does it mean to have natural affection? Many times, to understand the meaning of a word or phrase, we look at its opposite. The opposite of natural affection is without natural affection — unnatural.

Affection is a fondness, warmth, gentle feeling or physical expression of love.

Perilous Times

The Bible tells us that in the last days, perilous times will come. There are things we notice in the unraveling of our families, communities and society that prove we are in the last days. One such thing is that people will be without natural affection. In these days, people have an unnatural way of showing love. Words and deeds don’t match. What should be gentle is brutal. What should be hot is cold.

God-given

Something that is natural exists in nature without being made or caused by humans. It is what it is — on its own. Some regard it as being innate. Natural affection is something that is God-given. Something that is unnatural goes against nature, thus it goes against the order of God.

  • It’s natural for a mother to desire to nurture her child.
  • It’s natural for a man to be protective of his family.
  • It’s natural for friends to want to help another friend in need.
  • It’s natural for a family member to want to see other family members do their best.
  • It’s natural to have empathy for others — friends, families, neighbors and strangers.

In the Jungle

Many mothers in the animal kingdom will fight to the death to protect their young. They’ll stand against predators, whom they have a small to no chance of defeating, just to give their young the chance to live. Sadly, some of us do not give as much natural love as a beast in the field.

But when unnatural affection is addressed in 2 Timothy, it is not about beasts, but about man.

Piety, or kindness, should first be demonstrated and learned in the home. This foundation is being destroyed. If we cannot be kind in the home, how can we have natural affection towards anyone?

2 Timothy 3:1-5

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

Causes

Many things lead to unnatural affection. Lust is at the root — unruly passions that direct hearts to appease the senses and flesh. Selfishness is connected to lust. Many people aim to satisfy self and place one’s needs and desires (lusts) over the well-being and development of others.

Other factors are lack of wisdom and pride. A prideful and selfish heart does not give natural love because it has not submitted to God and the order He established in nature. A heart that is not wise does foolish things, especially when it comes to pursuing means to fulfill lustful desires.

Quite simply, those without natural affection hurt others. Sometimes they do it blindly. Other times their eyes are wide open and they just don’t care.

Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children

What to Do?

  • The Word of God says it best: “from such turn away.” In other words, stay away from these types of people. This is for our good and protection.
  • Do a heart check and guard your heart. Be sure that you are one who lives a life of love filled with natural affection.
  • If you are a young lady, submit yourself to be taught by aged or older women on the subject of love. It is the job and calling of aged women to teach young women to love their husbands and children. To have natural affection.

 

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Natural-Affection-MMG

How to Deal with an Angry Person

Anger is always looking for a place to rest—a place to call home. But you don’t have to allow it to claim your heart as its own.

We cannot control how other people talk and act. But we can control our own actions and reactions. The bible is a manual for righteous living; whether it’s about how to dress (modest apparel), or how to turn anger on its head. We can use God’s Word to direct our lives.

Words to Live By

I’m going to share three bible-based tips on how to deal with an angry person. These are not in-depth, but they are a starting point for conflict management—God’s way.

  1. Reply with a soft or gentle answer.
  2. Agree quickly with the person. The bible refers to the person you’re in disagreement with as your adversary.
  3. Don’t be friends with an angry person; don’t associate with people who are easily-angered.

A Soft Answer

A soft or gentle answer disarms the angry person. On a carnal level, it’s pretty hard to be soft and gentle towards someone who is yelling at you, name-calling or pushing buttons for a brawl. We want to yell back, sling out insults, and hurt the hurter. But this formula isn’t God’s method, but that of the flesh.  It’s a formula for mess. Grievous or harsh words is the spoon in the pot. Keep stirring and you’ll get more anger out of the person.

Go to higher ground, instead. Walk in the Spirit and remember Jesus. Recall how He didn’t say a mumbling word as He was spat upon, hit and beaten. This means you’ll practice some self-control by being silent at first, giving yourself time to consider your reaction and its consequences.

Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

The other person may think your meek demeanor is a sign of weakness, but you should know it is a mark of power. Why? Well, this formula for success came from God, so how can it be anything but powerful?! Also, it demonstrates you choose to not be controlled by your emotions by taking the time to think before you speak, craft a gentle word, and ultimately please God.

A Soft Answer Turns Away Wrath

Agree Quickly

God wants us to settle matters before we show up before a judge, mediator or third-party with the other person. He doesn’t want things to go that far. More importantly, God is the righteous Judge. Don’t show up before God with a matter unresolved between you and your brother or sister. God doesn’t even want our gift at the altar until we go to the person we believe has something against us.

Matthew 5:25 Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver you to the judge, and the judge deliver you to the officer, and you be cast into prison.

Agreeing with your adversary quickly or settling a matter doesn’t mean you’re admitting the other person is right. It means you’re not wanting to allow anger to get a hold of you or them, and cause either one of you to sin. Many times we allow anger to cause us to sin. We don’t think rationally when we are angry. The sooner you deal with and fix the problem, the better. We shouldn’t give a root of bitterness the chance to spring up. People all over are hating one another, walking around as spiritual murderers because of a disagreement, misunderstanding, hurt or neglect that bubbled into anger.

Don’t Associate

You’ve given a soft answer and agreed with your adversary quickly. They’re still angry, and seem to wrap their identity in being the mad one. What next? Prayerfully think and take proper action.

Why put or keep yourself in a potentially dangerous position by staying in the presence of someone who is always angry? You don’t have to take abuse and be the verbal, emotional or physical punching bag for someone who chooses to remain unhappy. You do not know if or when that anger may become rage.

Proverbs 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man you shall not go:

Furthermore, God doesn’t want us to learn the ways of angry people. He knows the power of mirroring, and how easily we may mirror another person’s bad behavior. If someone is angry all the time, the anger is a symptom of a deeper problem.  Pray for them, and continue to show kindness and love. Understand the anger is probably masking hurt. Yet, do not make this person your familiar or intimate friend. The spirit of anger that envelops him/her may try to consume you too.

Remember, be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.

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Modest & Polished: Grow in Grace

To grow means to develop, expand, increase or advance to maturity. As I sat in Bible study tonight, I thought about something my dad said. “The devil wants to kill us as soon as we are ready to give our life to Christ; as soon as we are born again, before we get strong in God and are built up.”

Babes in Christ

Satan comes to kill, steal and destroy, but he especially wants to destroy us when we are new in Christ — babes. Why? Because at this early stage, our strength is small and our discernment has not had time to become sharpened. We have not yet been rooted and grounded in the Word. We are easy targets.

If you know anything about babies, you know they are vulnerable. Even in the animal world, predators seek the weak, categorized as the very young, sick/injured or the very old. Satan is a predator, and his mission is to devour as many people as possible, which includes seeking out new believers.

We are very vulnerable as babes in Christ. We need to feast on the sincere milk of the word, so that we can grow (1 Peter 2:2). The stronger we become in God, and the more skillful we become with the Word, we are able to resist the devil and easily use our Sword against him: the Word of God.

It takes time to mature, both naturally and spiritually. If you are a babe in Christ, I lovingly encourage you to indulge in the Word. If you feel you don’t have a thirst or hunger for it, feast on it anyway, at the same time asking God to ignite your thirst and hunger.

If you have been in Christ for a while, you are not above being deceived and falling. You are on the enemy’s hit list too, and you need the Word. There comes a time when we can move beyond milk and feast on meat — the deeper things in the Word that babies can’t eat or understand because they’d choke on it.

2 Peter 3:18 But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.

All of us need to grow. Don’t be satisfied with where you are in God. Always desire to be closer to Him; to be more faithful; to be more like Jesus. A beautiful part about being in Christ is that He has everything we need to grow by — starting with grace.

Grow in the Knowledge of Jesus Christ

God also wants us to grow in the knowledge of Christ. Knowledge is awareness, familiarity, facts and information gained from experience with someone or something. There’s more to know about Jesus than what you discovered the first time you heard His name; or from when you were baptized; from when He last healed you; from last Sunday’s sermon; or the day He saved you from your sins and self.

Grow in Grace

We learn more about Christ as we study and meditate on His Word, pray, fast, spend quiet time with Him, and allow Him to lead us by the Holy Ghost. Only when we are led by the Spirit of God are we the sons (and daughters) of God (Romans 8:14).

I believe Ephesians 3:17-19 sums up growing in grace and in the knowledge of Jesus Christ perfectly.

17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.

 

With Love,

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Windows of Escape

Opportunities don’t always appear as doors. Sometimes they show up as windows of escape. Sometimes the opportunity is a choice to say goodbye. To leave some situation, place or person in order to grab hold of what God has waiting for you. For better. For more joy. For peace. For salvation.

We ladies have been especially conditioned to look for and react to things that glitter. The glamourfied, if you will; even when it comes to opportunities or a way out. But all that glitters is not gold. And what you think of as simple, plain or insufficient may be the best thing for you (or me).

You never know who God may use to help you recognize and go through a window of escape. Sometimes we need someone to let down the cord (rope) or basket for us, as we find ourselves on ground level, only to take off and fly towards The Waymaker.

Joshua 2:15 Then she let them down by a cord through the window: for her house was upon the town wall, and she dwelt upon the wall.

When you see one—a window of escape—go through it, and allow God to meet you on the other side. The window may not be lined with flowers or open up to the ocean, but it gets you out of the mess, hurt, confusion or whatever you are in; and into the arms of the One who can redeem you. Go through the window of escape with faith. The Apostle Paul did. In a basket!

2 Corinthians 11:33 And through a window in a basket was I let down by the wall, and escaped his hands.

windows of escape_modelmegirl_lowres

 

Taming the Culture of Distrust

I read an article this morning about trust. According to the  AP GfK poll, people in America trust one another less and less.

When it comes to trust, there’s a huge difference between trusting someone and trusting IN someone.

Psalm 118:8  It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.

On the other hand, it’s hard to trust others if you do not trust God or yourself. We know there are degrees of trust, too. The more someone proves to be accountable and consistent, the more likely we are to trust that person. So s/he proves him or herself over time. There’s also the pattern of distrust. This occurs when a person is let down or trust is often broken. When we don’t trust someone, it’s because we find them unreliable or dishonorable.

Welcome to the (American) Culture of Distrust.

Our levels of trust also change depending on context. We may trust someone who has access to our medical records in a healthcare setting more than someone we meet while traveling away from home, or the sales associate who swipes our credit or debit card.

Learning to Trust

[pullquote align=”left”]Luke 18:8 I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?[/pullquote]

Here at Model Me Girl, we talk about taming your self-convo, particularly the negative ones.

Are you verbally abusive to yourself? Do you lie to yourself? Feel like you let yourself down all the time? In many cases, how you treat and talk to yourself is training ground for how you treat and talk to others. This influences your ability to trust. But this lesson doesn’t start here. We learn how to regard ourselves and others by the familial and social teachers in our lives.

You can learn and adopt a new way of thinking, doing and being. I once thought the first step in learning to trust was learning to trust myself. I no longer think that. I believe the first step in learning to trust is to trust God—just take Him at His word. It’s God who teaches me how to operate in every type of relationship, even how I relate to myself.

Taming-the-Culture-of-Distrust_ModelMeGirlThe social phenomenon we should be most concerned with is not if we trust others, but if we trust in Christ. This is who I speak of when I say God. I believe this AP-GfK study reveals what the Word of God said would be in the last days:

2 Timothy 3:1-5 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.(2)For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,(3)Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, (4) Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; (5) Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

Trucebreakers, false accusers and traitors are never trustworthy UNLESS they are redeemed and have recovered from their ways. What we tend to do is punish other people for one bad relationship, experience or hearsay. Should we be naive and blindly trust any and everybody? No. But being that these days present us with more trucebreakers, false accusers, traitors and prideful people, it makes sense that trust has declined. Morality and accountability have declined.

When we walk around our daily lives being suspicious of everyone or when we face the type of people mentioned in 2 Timothy 3, our chances of being rude increase. May God give us more patience and self-control! This level of suspicion isn’t healthy for the body and mind.

What we need are not more social networks, but connections. The real high-quality kind. Face-to-face. Real connections build trust—with regard to God, other people and yourself—when we move beyond the superficial. If and when our relationships are right with God, we will have right relationships with others. This is righteousness. This kind of righteousness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. It cannot be bought or taught from a self-help book, conference or class. It is a gift from that comes from forgiveness and reconciliation.

James 3:18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.

We are witnessing and living in the culture of distrust. Let’s not allow this culture to influence us to lose our trust in God or to treat others with disrespect and discourtesy.

 

 

Taming the “Dear Future Husband” Obsession

Ladies, can we reason together? This has been on my mind for a while. I’m trying to understand Christian ladies’ obsession with “Dear Future Husband” posts.

I’ve read, listened, watched and prayed. I fear that many of you are being taken captive by youthful lusts and do not recognize it.

Marriage between a single man and single woman is a beautiful God-honored relationship.  It’s okay to temperately desire to be married in God’s timing. But are you making “future husband” and marriage idols?

The only appropriate time to write a “Dear Future Husband” post is:

  1. To Jesus since the Church is His bride.
  2. If and only if you are presently engaged to be married. In this case your future husband is real; not a fantasy. Be careful with this also, as you do not want to stir up sexual lust.

Dear Future Husband Obsession_ModelMeGirl

Under the Influence

Yes, many Western girls have been heavily influenced by unrealistic romantic movies and childhood fairy tales. So, it’s easy to blame Hollywood concerning this obsession with future husbands. But Hollywood isn’t the major problem with this issue. Christian women and girls who are influencing and encouraging one another to write love letters to a man on a wish list are to blame for this fantasy infatuation. Vain imagination.

When we are deceived, we go and deceive others. But we don’t have to be deceived. The “Dear Future Husband” posts are not a write the vision and make it plain ordeal. This is lust wearing cheap, imitation perfume. This does not smell good and sweet in the nostrils of our Savior. It stinks.

God’s Will?

Is it God’s will for you to be married? Maybe; maybe not. God knows. It is truth God calls some people to be single, like the Apostle Paul. Who knows if this will be the same for you?

Beloved, why not be about your Father’s business as you cultivate your faith, becoming rooted and grounded in His Word and love? Why not work on your character, sharpen skills and enjoy this present season in your life? The time it takes to craft these “Dear Future Husband” posts could have been given to something much more meaningful, such as prayer, reading the Word or helping someone.

Have Temperance

God never told you, me or anyone to obsess over a mate – current or future. This obsession easily creates idols in your heart and mind. Obsession is lack of control, and God wants us to have temperance. This is self-control. Patience is closely related to self-control.

2 Timothy 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

The Word of God says to flee youthful lusts. Again, this is a mark of self-control. I say to you, these “Dear Future Husband” posts are propelling you towards youthful lusts, not away from them.

Heart Check

Why are you fixated on this? Do you believe the myth that you are incomplete without a spouse? Do you believe marriage is the ultimate dream?

“Dear Future Husband” posts are masks that poorly disguise the root of a deeper issue.

Matthew 6:21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

It appears your treasure is found in a husband. As such, this is where your heart is.  Beloved, do you not want to store up treasures in heaven?

Revelation 2:4 Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.

This obsession is revealing a lot about your heart.  Beloved, do a heart check. Be honest with yourself as you reflect on why “Dear Future Husband” means so much to you. Repent and remember your first love, Jesus Christ.

Wonderfully Single

1 Corinthians 7:34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

1 Corinthians 7:35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

In a nutshell, Paul said that in your singlehood, you’re able to give more of yourself to the needs of Christ because you do not have the family-life obligations. This is comely, or beautiful, pleasing and acceptable.

2 Timothy 4:12 Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

Many of you are proud to declare you are unashamed of your faith. This is good! But are you being an example or a stumbling block to another woman or girl in and outside the faith? Are you encouraging women and girls to spend their time thinking about a man? To write to a fantasy? Are your words and life examples of purity?

This “Dear Future Husband” obsession is a device of the enemy so that he can steal your focus and try to get you to become impatient waiting for God’s timing, if indeed marriage is in His will. You think you’re being pure in calling him “Future Husband” but all you are really doing is writing to an anonymous man.

God doesn’t need your help in sending the right man to find you. You don’t have to strategically place yourself somewhere hoping you’ll be seen. You don’t have to wear revealing clothing to grab attention. You don’t even have to ride on the “Dear Future Husband” bandwagon.

Enjoy not having certain distractions in place as you serve God! When and if God allows a man to find you, it is well. But until then, stop creating distractions for yourself with the “Dear Future Husband” obsession. Get your heart and mind fixated on Jesus Christ!

Be pure. Stay holy. Take off the blindfold and open your eyes.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

“If you love me, you will show me.” How many times have you heard or said this? I have an expression: Love has legs and it walks.

Is your love sitting down? Are you holding back? Is your love resting on words and not on actions and truth?

1 John 3:18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

Choose to Prove Your Love

Love is an action and a choice. What we do to show someone we love them says more than the words that come out of our mouths. If our actions and words do not line up, it’s time to do a heart check. Perhaps there’s some lingering unforgiveness, insecurities, apathy, or lack of humility.

Did you know that even Jesus wants us to prove our love to Him? It’s not good enough for us to simply say we love the Lord; we must show we love Him. This is done through obeying His Word.

John 14:15 If ye love me, keep my commandments.

Even in our relationships with family and friends, our actions carry more weight than what we say. Our actions offer credibility. We have something a little more concrete at our disposal. Actions matter more in defining a person’s character and establishing his/her reputation.

Proverbs 20:11 Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.

There is a connection between what we say and what we do. Our thoughts and intentions influence our words. Our words influence our actions. But somewhere on the journey between words and actions, we have a choice to block what we say from becoming deeds or not—positive or negative.

Bravo when we block those things that are negative and unfruitful. But let’s allow positive, life-giving words to manifest into actions that the whole world can see.

Truth Matters

Wait! There’s more. There’s the matter of truth. Yes, people can fake it and go through empty rituals, or just go through the motions. In whatever you do to SHOW or PROVE your love, let it be true. If it isn’t, rest assured others will eventually be able to tell. When it comes to God, nothing is hidden from Him. He knows if we’re being real or not. So, please…no masks. Authenticity to the fullest.

How to Stay in God’s Love

John 15:10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.

As long as we continue to obey the Lord, we remain in His love. Isn’t that a beautiful thought?

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thought for the Day: Guard Your Heart

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Father’s Day Must Have: Godly Dads

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Happy Father’s Day to all the dads around the globe, especially to my own father. There’s another level to being a dad, and that’s being a godly one. My father is a godly dad.

If only godly dads were on the list of Father’s Day Must Have’s. Continue Reading

Women on the Prowl

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I haven’t posted any personal or spiritual growth posts in a while. With all that’s going on, I believe a post to the single ladies is in order; especially for the ones who seem to be desperately seeking a mate. Continue Reading